Emotionally Obligated

Who am I to judge other women who have picked the wrong men in their lives to have a relationship with? Since I personally have made this same mistake time and time again. There is a  number of contributing factors of why this happens?  I am yet to be blatantly honest with myself, it needs to stop because nothing is worse than being with a man you begin to hate. I’m still in awe of “why”? People find themselves together and staying together only to find each other being miserable? My only conclusions are they attracted for the wrong reasons or women are marrying to young and men are dominating them.

For me I just have a bad taste in men, but since my first bad marriage being to young. I will be the one to dominate any relationship I’ve had.  I expect a lot from myself but yet my self-esteem must be of the question more than I realize, which is surprising to me being a very confident person. Maybe these emotions are not synonymous?

I need to re-evaluate why I am wasting my time with men who are of no benefit to me? Of course, I’m not the only woman this happens to. Millions of women go through the same crap or marry the wrong men for various reasons. Let’s take a look at Christy Brinkley, she has been married several times all of which have failed. My point is a woman can have everything, money, success and looks, all accept a man who can give you what you need.

In my current situation I don’t have what I need. What I have is an obligation and in reality, I have no one to blame but myself. Humans make this mistake. It didn’t start off this way but became more transparent as time progressed. This sucks…Having your relationship based on an obligation is the worst emotional cripple there can be. This man emotionally depends on me for everything in his life. I know he’s not smart, yet he does nothing to improve himself. He’s not educated either and yet refuses to read or learn anything new or interesting. He reflects on the people and events from the past because his memories are all he can associate too. When he speaks it’s usually out of tune, meaning his mind can’t form logical information to make sense of the conversation.

Several years later it was discovered he had Dementia.

His mind is thinking in spats trying to associate what information he can to be a part of a conversation.  His common sense lacks and his logic when following directions or a simple task.

Now that his medical problems have compromised his life, it’s now hinder his physical abilities.  His medications are more than one person needs, but he finds himself sleeping more than a normal person should.

I have become his nurse, his caretaker, his teacher, his provider. I have allowed myself to be misdirected on a personal level that it has taken me away from the things I need to do for me. Now I struggle to find my way back since a part of my life has been taken. As women we give more than we get back in return.

This man has a good heart, all he wanted is “love” he’s good looking, kind and has never mistreated me. Yet none of that matters to me. I say this because of the strain this relationship has placed on me. When your “emotionally obligated”. A message to all women, men will always look to us to care for their needs whether they have medical problems or emotional problems or are just getting old. I can’t vision Christie Brinkley doing this for any man. She is to vain.

Men seek women to care for them like a mother does for a child. Unless he is your husband and has given you the world at one time in your life, I see no reason to forfeit your time and future. However, you won’t know what can change in your relationship, but try and be smart with him in the first year. This will determine if he is worth staying with. Remember it’s your life too.