Anthony Christopher Acosta from Hacienda Heights died from Drug and Alcohol abuse, his father Tom Acosta Sr. was an abusive father and husband who destroyed his entire family. People don’t speak on the subject of death in everyday life, I guess because it’s a negative and depressing subject. However, I feel it doesn’t have to be negative, something good could come from it. At the very least humans need to try and understand it, when it does occur, for this, we might fear it less.
As humans, we choose to believe we’re special, (especially if people possess money and status), but in reality were not our lives are just a glimpse. The problems with most humans, people haven’t learned to respect one another or themselves, the love is gone.
People purposely hurt one another because of jealousy, insecurities, and greed (the desire to feel powerful). Parent’s hurt their children, children hurt their parents, siblings tear each other apart and friends betray each other again and again, let’s not forget those special unhappy married couples who grow to hate each other over time, cheating, lying and abusing their kids.
Yet when death occurs in a family especially where there is betrayal, this is the time we start to look at ourselves a little closer. The feeling of guilt of what the person could have or should have done differently. The betrayal just makes us feel callus.
No one likes the feeling of guilt it’s something we refuse to take responsibility for. There is also the question of our own mortality, “that could have been me” question? Dwells within us.
I can’t say I’ve ever expressed this particular question in my own head, but I have examined it as closely to try and understand why this person has now passed at an early age in life. Sometimes I know the reason or most of the facts, other times it’s a mystery and a complete surprise to me they’re gone.
My father dying was not a surprise to me, I knew it was coming, but after I called a few people to tell them, what did surprise me was the inconsiderate lack of response. Having nothing compassionate or respectful to say and that really pissed me off. Just recently I came to find out someone I knew as a child growing up died last year. Christopher Acosta of Hacienda Heights.
Both parents Tom and Sylvia are responsible for the death of their sons all because of DRUG and ALCOHOL ABUSE. At first, I was surprised, but then later when I reflected knowing who this person’s father is a low life degrading asshole Tom Acosta it came as no surprise to me that Chris Acosta died at 52.
Our fathers were friends (Tom was not much of friend) in school so I grew up with the Acosta boys, whom I have known all my life, but as I grew older in my early 20’s we lost contact even though we were still in the same area of Hacienda Heights. Many of the people we associated with knew each other in one way or another. After my father died in February, I called Sylvia Acosta and told her, she didn’t have much to say and the conversation lasted for all of 3 minutes since that scumbag Tom Sr. told her to get off the phone and not speak to me. Seven month’s later Tom was dead and cremated at Chapman Funeral Home September 2014.
This is someone who is supposed to be a friend to my father (friends like this one doesn’t need enemies). I hadn’t seen Sylvia in a very long time, the last time I did see her is when Tommie Jr. died. See…Sylvia and Tom Acosta had four sons all of which are dead except the youngest Michael. What I am about to express will seem foul-mouthed and harsh, but I am expressing my anger all towards and about Tom Acosta Sr. in hopes all who know him will read this.
If they know him at all I likely doubt there would be anything to disagree about. However tolerating Tom Acosta’s abuse and VERBAL DISRESPECT not being confronted all these years, is allowing a CRIMINAL TO GET AWAY WITH MURDER! Tom Acosta has done both! Nearly twenty years ago is when Louie died of AIDS, which originally everyone was told it was Cancer.
Frankly, what was more of a concern to me, was his mother, Sylvia’s feelings and the loss of her own child. I couldn’t imagine how she must have felt her son dying. However she now lives unhappy with regret, knowing she was partly to blame.
Louie was so young when this happened, but what burned me up was the lack of respect to my family that his funeral was kept from us. My family was not allowed or invited to attend. However, I decided to show up when I found out. When Tom Sr. saw me he behaved like an utter asshole, so I just told him to go “fuck yourself” and back off. I wasn’t there for him. Let me describe just some of the few mild moments I remember about Tom Acosta, but I won’t shock you of the horrific details he has imposed on others especially his own wife and children and my family.
These are just some of the examples of a man who is no man, no human who is a real friend, but a liar and a destroyer to anything or anyone crossing his path including his own family. *UPDATE TOM ACOSTA SR. DIED* of September 2014 seven mos. after my father passed and a year after Chris his son passed. I recently found out after all these years Sylvia was able to out live Tom and keep all that money and her home. The problem is she is now 80 years old and drinks too much, and filled with rage.
Now that her family is gone and she has nothing left but painful memories. Gloria (Tom’s sister) told me Sylvia speaks of Tom as if he was a great guy. I guess there is no reason for her to think of the pain at her age, but now she has nothing left to enjoy life. I once loved her like a 2nd mom. I only have this photo of Tom and Sylvia, but its damaged smudging out Tom’s face. Interesting how that happened!
I know very little of how Tom and Sylvia grew up, but what I do know about Sylvia is she had no mother and was the kindest loving individual next to my own mother. Yet after visiting her this last month, she is just as abusive as Tom was. She married Tom when she was just school girl (15 years old) and never knew herself, but yet everything this asshole did was to control, dominate and strip her of her own identity and livelihood as a human being. All I see is a woman who is now old, tired with painful memories of her abusive husband. She has the house and money but to old to enjoy it.
Michael once said to me, his mother is not the victim everyone thinks she is and he is right, she loves to fight with people.
If anything all I can remember is the abuse he subjected her to, the alcoholism, drug abuse he introduced as a way of life to his own sons (this is the way to be) and the point of his marriage was that Sylvia “owed” Tom. I will never forget it when he said this to me one evening over dinner, I just looked at him in disgust. Owed him, for what I pondered? He made sure her life would be only to exist in his that her need was to service his insecurities and self-loathing doubt he had of himself.
He showed his boys no “love” at all. They were never educated and never had an understanding they had choices to get away from Tom and better their lives. Only Chris and Mike worked hard always had good jobs. They made a home for themselves, but Chris was introduced to drugs at a young age from his father’s brother Ruben and continued to have this problem in addition to the alcoholism this is why his life is over. Tommy Jr. died of the same causes also at a very young age. (Michael the youngest is just emotionally screwed up). Michael can’t form healthy relationships with women!!!
Michael ran away as a child sold drugs to make a buck, works hard now, which I am surprised he works at the port with a past arrest record. I believe Michael hated Tom Sr. for all he is and what he has done to others, but he’ll never admit this out loud because even the most abused child will still protect and defend the parent, no matter what, Tom is still his father. However, Michael and Sylvia have a very insidious relationship as mother and son, they act and argue as if they are married to each other.
The last time I saw Michael he had no gracious words to express to me with condolence’s about my own father’s passing, but only to vent of the anger he had of certain people showing up who were not allowed to attend Chris’s funeral. He also described when he saw his brother Chris before he died he looked horrible and he knew his life would be ending. Up until Chris dying, Mike stated how scared Chris was knowing he was going to die. Chris was a Pisces, who are very loving people, but the family addictions, took his life, this is how the Acosta boys grew up, subjected by their parents with drugs and alcohol abuse. Sylvia being 80 now, is still a drunk!
I can only speculate GOD must have had a special plan, that Tom Sr. was left to suffer with Cancer and die very fast. His boys are dead because of him. Sylvia too is responsible, as a mother she should have placed her boys first, not her husband. Michael shared with me some rather interesting news that recently Tom’s mother passed away and left him $150,000 dollars from her property. Michael was surprised Tom wasn’t cut out of the inheritance since he never gave a rat’s ass about his own mother. When I mentioned this to Gloria (Toms older sister) she ignorantly questioned, “why would he say that”, after she had shared with me of her brothers behavior? Knowing he was ungrateful and disrespectful to his own parents.
Tom never even spoke to his mother, he didn’t care she was gone. I was only surprised she was alive all that time, Tom never spoke of his parents, but I came to find out he was ungrateful and selfish bastard, after everything his parents did for him he showed no respect to them at all. Tom convinced Sylvia he was emotionally and physically abused. I beg to differ, abusive parents don’t buy their kids a brand new car to drive to school.
Mike’s only concern as he expressed to me was to fix his own financial problems with the IRS before this asshole drops six feet under since Mike is the only living relative left. For the record Tom Sr. is the biggest scum bag and I can say that considering what I know about him. He’s the next best thing to all those crooked politicians who live with their sins and sleep like a baby still walking the earth and doesn’t give a second thought to what they do. Then who would give a thought to it when you’re a fucken drunk every day, what’s there to feel bad about? My Relationship with Michael.