TODD DERECK TAYLOR HOLLYWOOD HILLS, CA

On February 14th at 4 a.m. Todd Taylor died in his sleep, I heard his last breath, and February 16th, which just recently passed, was Todd's birthday. He died too young, but I'm glad I was there to be with him and he wasn't alone, because no one should have to die alone. Many people do and under the ugliest of circumstances. I find it peculiar how many people will die so close to their birthday. Or how husbands and wives will die back to back, as my grandparents did. As humans, all we have are memories of our lives more bad than good for most of us. Yet as people, we are brainwashed to believe the material world is more important than family, but it's not. It's not even real, it's all temporary and this human existence is based on sexual abuse and murder, war criminals and theft. I've always wanted to believe there are more good people in the world than bad, but I don't anymore, people show their true colors in their actions. I've witnessed and been subjected to so many people who are shit and this entire system is a lie and is lower than SCUM. You can't ask for help because churches don't give a fuck about anyone and want to keep people begging. Jobs were invented to keep corporations rich and fraudulent state agencies collecting money, but that is now changing and for the worse. Don't be surprised if more people act out and begin robbing the rich, because it will be well deserved.

When people are desperate and have nothing, they will act out because no one cares and they need to survive. When people don't know anything or their vocabulary is limited, communication is misunderstood and relationships fail. People are discriminated against by race and age. This entire world has fallen but the truth is, it's always been this way, SHIT!!! I never understood how the world worked when I was young or the corruption within this corrupt system that is designed for the politicians and the rich to steal. Todd didn't understand it either. Why do people choose to sell drugs, I don't know, because they can make a lot of money, I guess. Why do women sell their asses, for the same reasons? It's a contradiction BIG PHARMA can be a DOPE DEALER, and kill millions of people and call it MEDICINE, but no one else is allowed to, because now it's considered ILLEGAL. Another LIE. 

Todd and so many other children are subjected to their SHIT PARENTS and ABUSE FROM THE TIME THEY ARE BORN. The IGNORANCE AND STUPIDITY of people is "you should figure out life on your own as you grow and know everything you need to know by the time your legal age of 18". NO ONE KNOWS A FUCKEN THING AT 18. A PERSON IS STILL A CHILD AND NEEDS TO BE TAUGHT MANY THINGS. THIS HAS ALWAYS PISSED ME OFF ABOUT PEOPLE. I've known people at 40 and 50 and didn't know anything. Of course, many people have their heads in the sand and lie because it's how they get by to not appear STUPID to the rest of the world. The point I'm making is to be mindful that IT TAKES A LIFETIME TO GROW AND GROW UP THROUGHOUT THE FOUR STAGES OF LIFE! YOU WON'T UNDERSTAND THE FULL PICTURE UNTIL YOU ARE CLOSER TO DEATH. White privilege is an illusion and politics feeding those lies convolutes the system and brings hatred among the races so the CRIMINALS IN THE BACKGROUND CAN FEED THEIR GREED.

Let me change gears, Todd was the second man I lived with, and he was good to me. He had my back and was a protector. At times there were things he would say that upset me or things he didn't know and I realized the differences between us, but overall we were friends. He wasn't the kind of man who would ever hit a woman. I was more of the aggressor. Although we had hard times those few years in the beginning, we both worked hard and kept a roof over our heads, but I HAVE GOOD MEMORIES OF US. He got a job and was proud of himself, as he had come so far. We had good times and went to rock shows, took camping trips, and ate at nice restaurants. We had many good times, but it got hard in the last few years towards the end. 

I realized I had to fight certain people in agencies that were so GROSS NEGLIGENT. Doctors who REFUSED TO DO THEIR FUCKEN JOB and diagnose his illness correctly. Immature assholes at hospitals who drugged Todd up behind my back to incarcerate him in a facility. There was so much abuse and this STATE DOESN'T GIVE A FUCK ABOUT ANYONE, THEY ARE FUCKEN PIGS. The SOCIAL WORKER at IHSS SAID TO ME HOW THE STATE OF CALIFORNIA DOESN'T WANT TO HELP PEOPLE. THEY DON'T WANT THE IHSS PROGRAM. In the end, I didn't want something to happen at 4am in the morning and have a sideshow in my home when he died and that is exactly what happened. What FUCKEN ANGERS ME IS WHY I HAD TO CALL THE POLICE WHEN THESE FUCKEN ASSHOLES ARE MURDERERS. Just because some STUPID ASS FUNERAL HOME SAYS ITS REQUIRED TO MAKE SURE SOMETHING HAS HAPPENED TO THE PERSON WHO DIED. REALLY? THE COPS DON'T GIVE A FUCK WHEN THEIR THE ONES KILLING PEOPLE!

LAW ENFORCEMENT DIDN'T GIVE A FUCK WHEN 6 COPS BEAT TODD NEARLY TO DEATH BEHIND THE RALPHS SUPER MARKET!!!

In addition, I had neighbors being so disrespectful, banging on my door. As for the police they are EXTREMELY DISRESPECTFUL, THAT PIG COP WINN is an immature disrespectful GOUK FUCK using my bathroom and pissing all over my toilet without permission. I hate these fucken scumbags. I hate the fucken police and I hope all of them rot in fucken hell as they deserve it. This country is filled with so much fucken abuse. I will be glad the day it all ends and I hope it's soon. My father worked in children's services for many years and he told me those facilities don't give a fuck about those children when they're taken away or incarcerated. 

Children are abused all the time by staff and police.  Never again will I call the police for any reason or the fire department to ask for help. If a building is on fire let it burn down who gives a shit. Never again will I trust any state agency because all the people who work in them are pieces of shit who will stab you in the back NOT HELP! I have disregarded everything in this fucken material world I thought meant something. It doesn't, all of it is SHIT, living a fucken lie. 

NEVER AGAIN WILL I PAY FOR FUNERAL SERVICES, FUCK IT WHY, SHOULD I? 20, OOO YEARS AGO PEOPLE BURIED THEIR OWN KIN. FUCK THE FUNERAL SERVICE THEY TOO WERE JUST AS INCONSIDERATE AND DISRESPECTFUL MONEY-GRUBBING WHORES!

When someone dies, take time to heal because you will feel the loss and emotional pain. You will not be alright, it is shock and turmoil, but if you find yourself lost at the park looking up at the sky on a warm day, and butterflies are buzzing all around. It means "NEW BEGINNINGS" and that is something to look forward to, that will ease your pain.