Advantages and Disadvantages - Being a middle child has its advantages and
many disadvantages. I didn't grow up in a religious or traditional family,
but that wasn't a problem at least not for me. It's actually a blessing.
Many people would stereotype me assuming I did because people
just love to assume and judge a book by its cover. The "white man" doesn't own
America he only thinks he does as so many whites choose to ignorantly assume. Only the Native Americans are true Americans and Indigenous people who were
on this land living free until the white man decided to slaughter, rape, and
murder my ancestors. Unfortunately, I was whitewashed so therefore my
culture has been stripped. Nevertheless, I grew up in a small town with many
options and choices I never knew I had. The reason this happens is because
of our structure in society and the stigmas, add the hate and drugs with so
many other barriers it can take a lifetime before a person realizes self-worth and the human value I now possess.
Of course, when
that didn't work resentment was my only ally, and as I grew older so did
many hard lessons that impacted my life. Those hard lessons helped me to
grow into an independent person and sprout self-reliance, but it takes your
entire life to fully understand everything. As I began to grow up I realized
I could always depend on myself and that was comforting. Remembering those
moments when things went missing or broken I was never asked what happened?
Only accused that I must have done it. I was the responsible one, and the
blame was shifted on me. It seemed I could never escape from being blamed
for many things gone wrong in a house full of kids, this was a
disadvantage.
Family and Resisting Conformity - Parental indifference is what I like to
call it when your parents treat one kid differently from all the rest, in
how the parent speaks and approaches that favored child compared to the
rest of the kids. However, since I was my father's only biological daughter
he made it rather clear my presence wasn't as important as his first son,
disadvantage. During my years of growing up, I encountered many struggles to
find my voice, with two wicked step sisters trying to control me and telling
me what to do, disadvantage. And the younger brat gaining approval without
lifting a finger. There were times I questioned what I was being told and demanded an answer I was usually shut down since no one knew the answer. I
later realized I shouldn't blame my parents for what they didn't know or had
NO answer to. (Also as a woman I observed my parents repeating the same
mistakes their parents made with them). As I haven't forgotten the stories.
At the time of not having a voice and feeling oppression in the home, which has ties to
racism people never understand this. My strong personality
was something my parents weren't prepared for and this was another reason I
was shut down or ignored most of the time, but it's an advantage to knowing
myself and what I can do without the need of others.
Being Held Prisoners - Being a middle child and lacking my father's
affection with too many kids to share space with, I learned to survive with
the skills of manipulation. My family had their own way of thinking and I
started to develop mine, different from theirs I had nothing in common with
anyone. Nothing in common with my wicked stepsisters. I had a lot to learn
in life, as everyone does, my rude awakening came much later. Being a middle
child as you grow up, you begin to think outside the box. Family conformity
is similar to false government, forcing me to be at their will and knowing
it doesn't fit. Fast forward to now, I am a mother of three, but the
syndrome of being a middle child never leaves it stays dormant. So I was
mindful of my parents' favoritism and the scars it left behind and I did my
best not to repeat the same mistakes with my own children. Those memories of
being blamed if my little brother got hurt which was most of the time only
added to the resentment. I later realized this resentment was familiar and
dormant until something I witnessed awoke it. I recall my father's friend Felix treated his daughter the same way I witnessed Doreen's punishment when her younger brother hurt himself in our backyard. Why was it her responsibility to look out for her younger siblings, as if she were the parent? Why was it mine? I never asked my father's favorite son to be born. For some reason, we girls were being held as prisoners to our younger siblings' mishaps. It may be due to the ignorance of men expecting the females to tend to younger chicks no matter what rank we had in the family. I will admit I needed discipline and education being a brat my parents were not strict when came to authority. I was given more than I may have deserved but I did work hard unlike Tonia who never worked and used everyone to support her ass.
Hand Me-Downs - Everyone has their peeves and I have mine, hand-me-downs
being one of them. My mother bought me many nice things but I was influenced
by the commercials of name-brand items, like Jordache Jeans. Now I realize
they're not that special especially since manufacturers lie and cheat on
consumers. No matter what I wouldn't wear second-hand clothes, plus my
wicked stepsister's taste was a modern defect. All families have problems
just as ours had our share, we just needed some education and wisdom. My
parents were very hard-working people, especially my mom, she worked her whole life
until she retired. Regardless I just couldn't cave into second-hand
clothes, so to make things less expensive I kept my wardrobe to a minimum of
blue jeans and sneakers with simple cotton shirts. Interestingly enough my
step-sister Tonia borrowed a few nice dresses from me refusing to give them back. They weren't second-hand but they were mine.
I worked and paid for what I had, another peeve of mine, allowing people to
touch my things and wear my clothes which I never should have agreed to, but Tonia has a way of using people. Plus this bitch had a husband who
couldn't afford a fucken thing, not even the house they live in now, since
he stole it from my father. I loved my parents they were good hard-working
people. They have taken the time to know this middle child of theirs. They
didn't know me and resented me as I grew older, because I spoke out more
than they cared to hear. I can't blame my parents for what they didn't know acceptance is key. I had a good childhood and nice home to live in and working parents. When I look back on it now, being a middle child wasn't so bad regardless of the many scapes I received along the way. So a message to all those parents with a middle child, acknowledge that child. If you point your finger at placing blame, they may resent you for it and won't be there as you grow old.